So far I’d like to say that I’ve had a fairly atypical pregnancy. No massive emotional highs and lows, no strange cravings, only a few nights spent kneeling before a white, porcelain bowl. I’ll be 17 weeks in two days, and I can still fit in all my old clothes (with the help of the Bella Band). People have told me so many things about pregnancy – some were right on; others were way off. But there’s a few things I’m realizing that no one told me, and I kinda wish I’d known. And so I begin.

Things they never told me. Part I.

-They never told me I was going to feel a bit insecure when I got to about 4 months pregnant. People who don’t see me much surely must wonder what I’ve been up to, assume I’ve been dining out more at select fast food restaurants. And since it’s terribly uncouth to ask if a woman is pregnant, I never get to set the record straight.
-They never told me everyone has a different opinion on how big my belly is supposed to be. Some people pat my belly and comment on how big I’m going to get if I’m showing already. Others sort of squint, tilt their heads sideways and say, “That’s all you got?” There is no belly size measurement tool to which I can refer to prove that I am right where I’m supposed to be so I have to smile and say something in my defense, graciously as I can.
-They never told me that I would do all sorts of things to try to feel my baby moving around. So far I’ve tried lying on my stomach, lying on my back, pressing all my abdominal organs inward, and various other mild acrobatics. If I really get desperate, I can drink Sprite, lay very still, at
some unknown time switch to laying on my stomach while simultaneously playing music to my belly and standing on my head. The past couple days I had moments where I thought I might have felt him, but it also could’ve been my own heartbeat, or food moving through my intestines.
They say it’s magical to feel your child for the first time, but so far, I’ve just been confused.
-They never told me I’d feel compelled to wear tight shirts and play up bloating or post-meal moments to feel/look more pregnant. At this stage in the pregnancy, I plan my outfits around what makes me look prego, not porky.
-They never told me I would feel so much better in the second trimester that I would wonder if my baby was still alive in there. Thank goodness for the little heartbeat doppler – which happens to look quite similar to Zach Morris’ cell phone – which assured me that baby is alive and well, hanging out next to my bladder with a heartbeat of 159 bpm. Not bad, baby. Keep it up. But if you could swim a few inches north, maybe I could spend less time in the bathroom. Thanks. Love you.

2 thoughts on “Pickles and ice cream, please – hold the pickles

  1. It's the second trimester bliss!! Sometimes I would forget that I was pregnant because I felt so great. Once your baby starts moving you lose the feeling of "Is he alive?". Enjoy it before you get too big to be comfortable.(For me this was about week 36) Hopefully you continue having a good uneventful pregnancy. You look great! God bless.


  2. Look at you, Muscles! As someone who has never been pregnant, I have observed that every woman's pregnancy seems to be different, and that conflicting advice is easy to come by! How crazy is it that you're almost halfway there?!


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