Last week was dramatic. Anything that could change did. Emotions were leaking all over the place, among other things (*wink*). My incompetence stared me in the face and sneered multiple times a day. And I hurt, in several places.
This week is, in a word, better. I’m less emotional, slightly more competent – don’t laugh. And I’m developing some form of routine, not so much with feeding times or naps, but more in the area of comfort with the unexpected. I know – it’s easy to say when I have no schedule – maternity leave rocks. Gives us all some time to adjust. By 7 weeks, when I go back to work, I know John will be sleeping from 10pm to 6am, with no diaper blowouts, and only one outfit a day. And he’ll also be teaching the other babies Chinese and Arabic. But we’ll give him until 6 months to do that.
John outgrew newborn diapers at about 10 days. He’s now in size 1’s. I felt like I was watching him walk into kindergarten. “There he goes; he’s all grown up now.” And then back to reality, because he still poops his pants. Somebody hand me a wipe; better make that two.
I’m still deeply committed to not wish time away. When it’s 3am and he hasn’t slept for more than 30 minutes at a time, it’s tempting to yearn for the days of the future when he will sleep for 5, maybe 6, or as a teenager, 12 consecutive hours. Think of all the sleep I will get then…But I come back down quickly because these moments are fleeting. Right now, he is quite wobbly and can’t hold his head up so he has no choice but to flop onto my chest after dinner and lay there, asleep, until I bring myself to take him to bed. Sometimes I just let him stay there for an hour or two. Why rush it? Everyone says it goes so fast and I want to be in the moment, enjoy it all, as much as possible. It really is hard to do when you’re sick (with a cold like I have) and tired (cause it’s 3:30 in the morning), but I’m doing a fairly good job of it, I think.
Three cheers for breastfeeding, folks. For my someday and almost-mama friends who read this blog, breastfeeding really is a magic weight-loss cure. I hope this is an encouragement to you. I know when my friend, Kim, told me that after less than 3 months she weighed less than her pre-baby weight, just from breastfeeding, I was shocked. And thrilled. Now I think it’s totally possible. I still have some shape to regain and my belly isn’t totally flat yet. In fact, if I were famous, my belly would be on the cover of some tabloid with a headline about “another baby bump”. Seriously. Since I’m not famous, however, I’m allowed to be happy with these results. And so I am.