Stories of Fear and Faith: A video series

{Stories of Fear and Faith is a new video blog series about my adventures in overcoming fear of the opinions of others and using my ounces of courage to pray for healing and deliver the message of Jesus’ restoration to friends and strangers through demonstrations of love and power. Want to know how I got here? Read below. Otherwise, click the video below to watch.}

I’m a fearful soul with big, brave thoughts. A timid adventurer afraid to mess up her reputation. I wield a power as infinite as God, and yet, I am afraid it won’t come through.

See, I have these beliefs, old, strong beliefs that God is powerful, that he loves the way he made our bodies and wants to heal them. I’ve seen him do it too.

And I’m a believer that God “is not willing that any should perish and be lost, but that all should experience and enter into eternal life” (2 Peter 3:9).

He loves people. He misses his kids. He wants them back. That is the Gospel. It’s kind, welcoming, firm. It’s the voice of a heartbroken but gentle Father. It’s a really good story. Because it’s true.

I grew up hearing stories of healing. My brave dad prayed for a woman’s leg to grow out at work, amongst a mocking crowd, and you better believe that leg grew right out. There in front of all the disbelievers. Some believed that day, I’m sure.

My dad loved people so much he talked about God on his bus ride home from work. Total strangers heard that Jesus loved them so much he died for them. Then Dad would bring the stories home, and around the dinner table, we prayed for the ones to meet Jesus and take his invitation of transformed life.

That’s my legacy. And yet, I’ve been here, ringing my hands, afraid God won’t do it. Afraid I will look like an idiot. Afraid I will be ostracized, that my God will look small and I will look small and I will just be relegated to the title of crazy, outside and alone.

And I know what that feels like. That’s what my school years were like. Until college. I have no desire to go back there.

But I do love. And I want to love more. From all the “evangelism” I’ve done over the years, not much of it felt loaded with the real power of God that raised Jesus from the dead. It was mostly debate, conversations where I tried not to offend. Sometimes there was boldness, sometimes I clearly heard God give me a message for someone. And sometimes I delivered. Many times, I didn’t.

So here I am, trying to be brave. And I want to share it out here because I need the accountability. And I want all the fearful ones to learn to be brave too. This video blog won’t happen every day, but probably once a week at least.

And I’m hoping there will be more faith than fear as I go.

Stories of Fear and Faith from Sarah Siders on Vimeo.

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