Hello there. If you’re visiting from Steve Wiens, The Actual Pastor, welcome. I was a little bit giddy when Steve asked me to post. I’m a big fan of his writing and resonate with his authenticity and generous heart and how he aims to live. I’m sure you do as well. I discovered him when I read his almost-uncomfortably honest post, To Parents of Small Children, the one that went viral and got picked up by Huffington Post. If you haven’t read Steve’s regular writings, you will certainly want to do that. It’s so refreshing to feel like someone is reading your thoughts and not judging you for it. You can check him out here. My post about God’s terrible memory is below. Enjoy!
My memory is rotten. Literally. If you ask my husband, he’ll tell you there must be holes where the memories are supposed to be. About once a day, I misplace my keys or my phone. I walk into a room and forget why I’m there. Sometimes I forget appointments. I’ve even missed weddings.
But there’s one thing I don’t forget easily: my failures. Despite my frequent absentmindedness, I recall with brilliant clarity each of my integrity compromises and lapses in judgment. I remember every time I fell off the wagon in college, when I swore I’d stop drinking and making out with boys. But the next month, I was back at it. Or Sunday mornings when I tell God, This time I’m serious. I’m going to read my Bible and pray more. I’m going to do better. But by Monday, I’m hitting Snooze again.
Quiet times made for tedious acrobatics. It was no wonder I avoided God. I started most of our times together by reminding him of my recent List of Bad Stuff. I wallowed in a bit of self-condemnation, just to save God time. Begging for forgiveness followed, along with promises to never-or-always-do-whatever again, which we both knew was a little too ambitious. But I promised anyway.
I felt like my life with God was a waste, one sad mistake followed by apology, again and again. A cycle I could never quite break.
Keep reading at Steve’s blog. And thanks for stopping by.
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