Everyone Is Not A Winner

Everyone is not a winner. Sorry. I have no idea who made that up, but it is pure crazy.

That statement is based on the belief that trying is all that matters, but it sets us up for constant disappointment and confusion because it doesn’t answer the essential questions:

  1. What is my/our personal/corporate mission?
  2. Did I/we achieve it today, this week, this quarter, this year?

We absolutely must know why we are doing what we do every day (vision) and if we reached our goals or not (success). That’s part of staying alive as a human, feeling that what we are doing down here has meaning. 

Meaning is essential as air, and knowing whether or not we succeeded at something gives us meaning. If we didn’t succeed yet, we have a clear goal to shoot for.

Some days you know you won, you pulled the thing off. But some days you have that pit of loss or embarrassment sitting like lead in your gut. You didn’t get it done.

But how do you really know for sure? How do you measure success?

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Everyone’s version of success is different. What I need to make it in the career of communication is different than someone starting a non-profit, different than a full-time parent, different than someone taking over at a aging company or trying to breathe life back into a church.

The best part is that because what you need to succeed in your “thing” is different for each person, no one can judge you but you and those you’ve given permission to evaluate you.

The best part is that because what you need to succeed in your “thing” is different for each person, no one can judge you but you and those you’ve given permission to evaluate you. (Take that, judgers.) Anyone can criticize you, but only you and your family or team know what success looks like, and that’s all that matters.

You can celebrate wins however you want.

So what does success look like for you?

  • Is it a number of “likes” on a Facebook page?
  • Is it a certain number of new customers purchasing your product?
  • Is it several days in a row of feeling healthy when you’ve been sick a long time?
  • Is it a week of clear communication with your spouse?
  • Is it a certain amount of blog or site traffic?
  • Is it yelling less at your kids?
  • Is it three blog posts a week when you’ve only been getting out one?
  • Is it five new guests at your church or store tomorrow?

Trying is only part of it. But when you know your goal, you can end your day and evaluate what to do better tomorrow.

When you can answer based on your criteria, “Yes, today was a win”, you can go home, pour a glass of wine and feel awesome about yourself.

How do YOU define success in your relationships, work or personal life? Got any tips to share?

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