When People Become A Means To An End: A Confession

Most of the time, the world feels like a hot mess. There is so much work to be done, so many lives to patch together, marriages to save, mouths to feed, books to write, organizations to start, and concepts to communicate.

And yet, while there is so much work be done for people, it seems people are the very thing keeping me from accomplishing my work.

Someone isn’t completing a task on deadline while someone else is ignoring my phone calls. Someone won’t respond to my emails while someone else thinks my genius business plans needs revision. My children leave the house a wreck and my husband needs the night off. I need a friend to vent to, but she needs to vent to me.

And so it goes. The work I need to get done for people is constantly being hampered by people.

And all the people I need to help are totally cramping my style. [click for photo credit]
Ever feel this way? Well, I have.

It’s time for a nasty confession. Ugh. I hate this about myself. I’ve told you several times about my dream to be a full-time writer and communicator so I can do what I love and be home with my family more. I told you about how I’m writing a book called Dream or Die, with the goal of helping people discover their calling and recover their dreams. I invited you to subscribe to the blog to follow along in the dream process, and I even wrote an inspirational eBook to give subscribers as a thank you.

I’ve been working hard, wanting to inspire you with my words and my labor and the stories of trying. But in all my efforts to support myself and my family financially through the books and my writing here, I forgot about who mattered most: you.

I forgot that I am here to breathe life to you, to lift you from discouragement and help you dust off your dream, to stand by you as you trade in despair for hope. To inspire you with the courage to live your days with purpose, free from regret.

The painful irony is, in my hopes of inspiring you to learn your calling, I forgot my own. I started obsessing about how I would make this all work, terrified I might never be financially independent enough to pursue my true passion and watch my kids grow up as a mom who is home far more than I am now.

I started making people a means to an end, not an end in themselves. I started trying to figure out what people needed and wanted, not to serve them, but so they could serve me.

Gross, huh?

I’m really sorry I did it, that I forgot why I am here, that it’s about giving you something of value and serving you. Just the discovery of this itself hurt enough, although God’s reminder was gentle.

So here’s the lesson I’m learning: People are never a means to an end. People are the end. Relationships are the end. Good behavior and acting right don’t matter one bit outside of the context of relationships.

I will definitely be talking about this more since I can’t stop thinking about it, but we were born into relationships, and relationships are what all the work is for. Work is not the goal. The work is the means through which relationships are founded and cultivated. We can do nothing of value alone. We are made for each other, and we are intended for a life with each other.

So here I am again to say I am here to serve you. I want to see you flourish in your God-designed calling, to see you love your life as you uncover dreams long forgotten. Nothing would make me happier. I’m still working hard on this for you, but with a new end in mind.

If you want to troubleshoot dreams and calling, I want to talk. Shoot me a message here. Your question may inspire a blog post, or maybe I can direct you toward an answer you probably already know.

I hope you can forgive me for my selfishness and ineptitude, but know that I am still on the journey with you. And for you.

Here’s to deep relationships here and in your life. And here’s to never forgetting that’s all that matters.

{I won’t be bashful – if you want to be a subscriber, I still very much want you. When you click here to subscribe, I will send over my inspirational eBook, along with regular blog updates and other future goodies.}

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