You’re Hungry For Whatever You Feed Yourself

Sometimes I get tired of writing. I wake up cranky and decide not to do it. “I’ll write tomorrow,” I say to myself, but I don’t. Procrastination is a heavy blanket, and I cozy up under it.

The days add up, and sometimes a week or more goes by with no new words. I feel the well dry up, and then I wonder if maybe I should just stick with the job I have, quit the dream. I don’t really like it that much anyway.

That’s what happens when we don’t do it, whatever It is.

We decide to work out regularly, but on some random Wednesday, we skip the gym in favor of one Parks and Rec episode. But we know it’ll never be one.

We decide to pray every night before bed, but we fall asleep instead.

We tell our partner that this week, we will call a babysitter for Friday night dates, but something comes up. Something always comes up.

We commit to going to church every Sunday, but then we sleep in.

We tell ourselves we are going to eat better, drink less, think happier thoughts, be nicer to our kids, talk to our neighbors. We will fill out that application for the small business or do research on applying to college. We will do it. Tomorrow.

But this is not a post about procrastination. That’s what we’re always fighting, but it’s the wrong enemy. The problem is not with delay and laziness. It’s about appetite, what we are hungry for.

We are never really hungry for anything new. We only hunger for what we already feed ourselves.

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So if I want to change my cravings, I have to change my diet. I will not hunger for the good, new thing on my own. I have to eat it, do it, make it a habit, and then I will want it.

But if I keep living the same routine, the same relationship ruts, with the same diet, I will never crave anything new.

The rhythms in our lives will never change unless we do. We cannot wait for circumstances to tilt us toward them. They will not. Our stressful lives will always favor inertia, lack of motion, the same-same-same.

Change is hard, but not changing will only keep us where we are. Maybe you’re okay with that, but I doubt it. I know I’m not.

So if I decide I want to be hungry for health, for my dream, for strong relationships with my friends, kids and partner, then I have to do the things. I have to act like a healthy person acts. Feed myself right.

If I want to be an author, I have to act like an author. I have to write.

If I want a strong marriage, I have to act like I have one.

The hunger for the good things, the right choices, the persistent pursuit of our dreams, will come. Eventually. But only after we choose to feed ourselves something different.

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