We are always talking to ourselves. But the conversation is mostly laced with deception. With small white lies and rationalizations. And even more, with stories and fables about who God is and what he thinks about us.
In my fantasy, God is mad. Still mad at me for that one thing. Or all those things. And so I avoid him. Avoid the conversation, the repentance, the confession, the coming-clean I know I really need.
I just don’t want to look at his disappointed face.
Maybe you can relate. Or maybe your not-truth is you tell yourself you’re really alone out here. It’s just you in the big world – there is no one to fight for you. Better to not pray or rely on God as he’s a bit unpredictable and we need things we can control around here, not silent and invisible deities who seem aloof at best and contentious at worst.
But this is not the truth and you, and I both know it. We’ve had moments with God that showed us his kindness, his forgiveness. We’ve read what God says about himself and he talks about Love like every other sentence.
He lived it. He commanded it. Jesus’ friend John straight up said “God IS Love”.
So take a minute to write down the truth so you can remind yourself later. I did it the other day.
It might sound canned at first. It might sound too good to be true. But either Love gets the last say in this life or he doesn’t. If he doesn’t, then what are we doing believing, even a little bit? If he is not true, if Love is a pipe dream, then we are wasting our time. As Paul said, we are the most to be pitied.
But if Love is the Last Word, if Love is the Word with skin on, a faithful friend, a patient parent, a comforting confidant, then let’s do ourselves a favor and believe already.