Becoming a mom almost three years ago transformed me into one of the most neurotic, nail-biting versions of myself. Because children are seen as a reflection of their parents, naturally I want my son to be well-behaved, brilliant, articulate and most of all, potty-trained. Like me. My greatest fear is that I will ruin him, … Continue reading How to know your child’s ruined
If you are a parent, or you have ever been around a toddler, you know they have these obsessions. Compulsions. These "I can't help myself" moments. While endearing the first six times they pose a nonsensical request, in only a matter of seconds the charm wears thin and suddenly, I'm shouting, "NO!" with all my … Continue reading No more cookies. No, really. Okay, fine.
I am a paradox. And so are you. We are clean and shiny in some areas of ourselves, yet disheveled disasters in others. The real estate of our souls and our yards is impeccable from one angle, and painfully unkempt from another. How is it that we can live with coexisting brilliance and ignorance, with generous … Continue reading I am the opposite of me
A couple weeks ago, I wrote about anger. My anger. The kind that fills me up with sadness and regret. The kind I dive into in the moment and feel I'm drowning in the next. Since I wrote about it, read about anger from other moms and started paying attention to my volume and emotion, … Continue reading Anger Management for Moms: the 365 Day Challenge
In college, it was getting easy. I finally figured out how to make friends, not talk too much or make people feel uncomfortable around me. And aside from the tumultuous relationships and the general self-loathing, my relationship with God felt relatively sturdy too. In the mornings, I propped up my pillow behind my head, then … Continue reading I am Jesus’ awkward friend
Motherhood is teaching me a lot about my human-hood. And it hurts. I face off against the frayed and tasseled ends of my patience and goodness every time my voice shouts too loud, or when my son's unexplainable need to fish in the toilet stirs up my ugly, unreasonable side. I don't like that girl … Continue reading How to feel like a good mom when you tuck yourself in
I stood in the bathroom and swished my short mop between my hands one more time. Staring into the mirror last night, I complained aloud to my mother that I didn't feel like myself. "I want my glamour back," I whined. "I feel like a news anchor or a soccer mom. It's so suburban. So … Continue reading Losing beauty
How come I do not know how to be a mom? How come there is not a book that describes motherhood for my personality and lifestyle? How come there is not a drug to calm me down? How come there are not enough hours in a day? How come there is guilt no matter what? … Continue reading How come it’s so hard?
I opened my laptop tonight to write about our generation's struggle with peace and quiet amidst a barrage of distractions. But before I could open WordPress, I logged into Facebook, maybe accidentally, and I found a few things to repost, read a blog link I found, looked at pictures, and then I realized... I got … Continue reading Generation Noise
I was a strange child when I was one. Entrepreneurial, calculated but energetic, friendly but frequently shy, precocious and childish. I never quite felt like I knew where to fit. I talked too much most of the time, just to fill the silence. And it annoyed people. I know because they told me. I was … Continue reading When it feels like your kid is really you