In Our Relationships, The Small Things Are The Big Things

I was already going to be late, and I knew it. Skimming through the house, I tried to piece together all my essentials before running out the door for work: purse, phone, coffee. And then I saw them. The dishes, stacked precariously in the sink, grimy and forlorn. Waiting patiently for me. I glanced at … Continue reading In Our Relationships, The Small Things Are The Big Things

When It’s No One’s Fault But You Want It To Be

It’s painful to watch. The itching, clawing, bleeding of my son’s eczema. It tugs on my compassion, but it pulls harder on my anger. I hate that sound, the furious scraping of fingernails across the skin, the catclaw marks they leave behind. And not just occasionally, or seasonally, or even for a month-long stretch. It’s … Continue reading When It’s No One’s Fault But You Want It To Be

This Is Not How I Thought Life Would Go: A Letter to My 20 Year Old Self

Dear Sarah, the 20 year old, the one who thinks she is going to marry her boyfriend and move to Mexico for missions work, yea, you were wrong. Very wrong.  You're 33 now, and you thought you would be further along. More accomplished. More successful.  You thought there would be more in your bank account. You thought … Continue reading This Is Not How I Thought Life Would Go: A Letter to My 20 Year Old Self

I Don’t Have An Anger Problem, Unless You Are Four Years Old

Tonight was one of those nights where I wanted to quit motherhood. Like seriously, quit and walk away. Quit because it is so hard and clearly, whatever I am doing is not working. I still feel like a broken mother. And earlier, giving up seemed like the better, wiser option because I can't do this. I … Continue reading I Don’t Have An Anger Problem, Unless You Are Four Years Old

Help and Healing For The Anxious Mother

I never saw it coming. The anxiety from this past year. I'd heard of postpartum mood disorders, but knew it would never happen to me. Not with my mental health training, my pastor-husband and my strong faith. Not with my friends all around me to support me. Not me. Even my second birth itself was beautiful … Continue reading Help and Healing For The Anxious Mother

There’s No Such Thing As Perfect (Until You’re Dead)

There is no such thing as perfect. There is no such as a perfect child, a perfect hairstyle, a perfect front yard, a perfect job. There is no perfect score. No perfect performance. There are no perfect husbands, and no perfect wives. There is no such thing as a perfect dad or mom. There are … Continue reading There’s No Such Thing As Perfect (Until You’re Dead)

What We Mean When We Say We’re Busy

I used to think I was busy, and I used to think that made me important. The busier, the important-er I was. Or so I thought. When people stopped by my office, they'd apologize for taking my time. They told me they knew I was busy but they would make it quick. I find myself doing … Continue reading What We Mean When We Say We’re Busy

Five Words Every Mom Needs To Hear

“Do you think I’m a good mom?” Sitting on the couch one afternoon with my oldest son, I got brave and asked what he really thought of me. I knew he might try to spare my feelings a little, but he’s four. He would tell me the truth. Besides, his opinion was really the only … Continue reading Five Words Every Mom Needs To Hear

When You Want to Resign From Parenthood, Remember This

My friends and I are constantly dismayed at the behavior of our children. There is always someone crying, something broken, some mess being made that need not be, all because the little darlings seem to have cotton in their ears. This inability to listen and then obey, seems to reflect on our competency as parents. … Continue reading When You Want to Resign From Parenthood, Remember This