When Life Makes No Sense, Neither Does Peace

Ever feel obligated to be anxious? I do. It's a strange pressure, but it's one I feel when I'm in a situation that makes no sense. When the uncertainty mounts, and there are no clear, settled answers, it's time to cue the worry. Surrounding the birth and health of my son, I've fought with and for … Continue reading When Life Makes No Sense, Neither Does Peace

Resting My Way To Heaven

I don't think my husband understands me.  I don't think he knows what it feels like to push myself until I'm ragged just to quiet the whispering-shouting "Not Enough Not Good Enough" voice.   I wonder if he knows the feeling of starting each day hopeful and ending each day with a blasting awareness of all … Continue reading Resting My Way To Heaven

Negative tests and practicing my poker face

{I've been leery of sharing these thoughts and stories about our journey to have Baby #2. I don't want to get pegged as an infertility writer cause I will feel guilty for getting pregnant when my readers are still trying. But more than that, letting strangers see the longings in my heart has been just … Continue reading Negative tests and practicing my poker face

Anger Management for Moms: the 365 Day Challenge

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about anger. My anger. The kind that fills me up with sadness and regret. The kind I dive into in the moment and feel I'm drowning in the next. Since I wrote about it, read about anger from other moms and started paying attention to my volume and emotion, … Continue reading Anger Management for Moms: the 365 Day Challenge

A squishy, floaty, sturdy, heavy thing called Love

Only the things done in love matter. Only the things done in love weigh enough to stamp eternity. Everything else just floats off the surface as vapor. It's not the act. It's the intent. Love might wear you out, but it doesn't get tired that easily. Love lets you be where you are right now, … Continue reading A squishy, floaty, sturdy, heavy thing called Love

When in doubt

I've mentioned before I was quite neurotic as a child, nervous and over-analyzing. Afraid to be wrong. That's still me, but the stakes are higher. I'm not just deciding which clothes will make me popular. Now I'm choosing financial investments and career moves. Big stuff. My mind swirls with great ideas and good intentions, things … Continue reading When in doubt

How sick became the new normal

[Note to readers, visitors and all curious holistic types: I am not selling anything on this site. There are no items to buy. I just believe these things. This is my story, my health evolution in progress. Thanks for reading and learning along with me.] On Wednesday, I mentioned the pandemic acceptance of illness and … Continue reading How sick became the new normal

When we get to heaven…

When we get to heaven, we will discover God is so much better than we thought. Much kinder, grander, more magnanimous, generous, beautiful, vast. We will see that he was always looking at us with those kind, crinkly eyes, glad to have us here. So let's start interacting with him that way now. Jesus enables … Continue reading When we get to heaven…

I am crazy… …

I am crazy... Because I believe one person makes a difference. It makes a difference if they do their thing or not, whether they give who they are to the world. How do I know? My husband is one person. I only have one of him. My son is only one person. He makes a … Continue reading I am crazy… …

Go ahead and use up all the grace – that’s what it’s for

I get so anxious, so tired, so worked up some nights. The thought of doing life tomorrow is wearisome. Working, caring for a child, trying to love. I just can't fathom how I'll have energy for it. Then I remind myself, Honey, it's not tomorrow yet. You'll never have tomorrow's grace today. You only get … Continue reading Go ahead and use up all the grace – that’s what it’s for